The Calm After the Storm
Every time something else happened in my life, I felt devastated. Initially, I kept thinking, why does this keep happening to me? or why do I keep getting stuck? I felt as if these life occurences were getting in the way of my search for devotion. Then, I realized i was wrong.
It is not about plans to get close to God. We can't put a time to "now, i will seek God through x and y" we must, instead, see God in the midst of everything. Seeking to rejoice in him even through the bad. Rejoice in the struggles God presents us daily. Rejocing in the storm. Since my word from God, is "joy" then I will seek it in all I can.
I got a "Happy One Year Anniversary notification from wordpress today and sadly enough it has been the only consistent relationship in the last year, and even then I have neglected it to be as substantial as I would wish it to be. I have found so many posts I drafted and never published.
The best part of it all is to know that God is the guiding force in my life, He is my strength. I could not imagine a life that was not filled with the joy He brings me. I would be weak and broken, I could NOT have made it through the last year without the strength He has given me.
I have so many new perspectives in life, in love, relationships, my role in this world, and the gifts I have, the places I need to go.
Recently, my never ending frustration with being in Austin for the summer was brought to peace. I felt as if my circumstances and need to be in physical therapy and a potential surgery was
The reality is that healing hurts and perhaps God's blessing to me is to have me somewhere more desolate to force me to re-encounter who I am, to heal physically and internally, as well as to simply focus on him aside from any other distractions.
The universe is doing something, changing, shifting. Unsure where this renewal will lead, but I am hopeful for what is to come, I am excited.
Heal for those I have lost.
The ones no longer in this world and the ones lost in it.
Heal for the pains I have collected.
The ones inside of me, the ones outside of me.