The First (real) Breakup

The Kiss by Cynthia Edith Gurrola

The Kiss, a photo by Cynthia Edith Gurrola on Flickr.

My boyfriend and I recently broke up, for reasons too private for the online world to enjoy. He is being persistent about trying to work things out, but only time will tell if this will get sorted out. This isn't the first time we've broken up, therefore our capabilities to be a stronger couple have great odds.

Regardless, this Thursday my brother and his almost two year girlfriend surprisingly broke up. Yes, we all thought they were going to get married. Though it is also possible for them to fix things, this seems to be their first time breaking up. I tried giving my brother encouragement from my past experiences and thought my ideas were ridiculous enough to share.


What happens when you break up (in stages). 

  1. The confusion stage - this is the moment when you think WTF just happened? You don't know how to feel or what to think. In your crazy head you are still thinking that someone is going to pinch you and you'll wake up (good luck with that).
  2. Pain and suffering stage - the second stage is the worst. This is when you think the world is going to end and assume that you cannot possibly live without that other person. You might also watch sad movies, cry yourself to sleep, or simply lay on the floor motionless.  (Caution: may be accompanied with a river of tears make sure you can swim. Side effects may include stabbing stomach pains).
  3. The Rage stage - the third stage is full of anger. This is when you want to punch a wall, beat someone up, or break a bunch of plates. This energy is best used on a good workout, no injuries please.
  4. The I'm a badass stage - your head is filled with angry thoughts of "I don't need them anyway," "they'll come back for me," or the famous "whatever, they are missing out." The list goes on, my advice is don't spend your time caught up in this and simply give credit to what you HAD.
  5. Final stage: Acceptance - the moment when you come to terms with yourself and realize you have so much more time for activities. Yes that's right, activities, like hanging with your girlfriends, going shopping, calling that cute boy from the coffee shop, and everything else you had not given yourself time to do because you were too focused on your relationship. This is also when you contemplate the possibility that your Waldo or Wenda is still out there hidden waiting to be found (reference to my new favorite movie Sidewalls, I highly recommend it). Point is, life goes on and you realize that.

WARNING: Break up stages may alter between personalities and egos, they may also vary according to durance of relationship. Stages are presumed to come in order but may vary, alternate, or repeat. There is not a clear time in between stages. If side effects worsen and you find the pain unbearable contact your best friend immediately.  

Happy loving,

Cynthia Edith Gurrola

(p.s. I had to redo this whole post due to image problems sorry to those that had already read it)