The Reality of Love
The workings of a relationship (or how it has worked for me thus far)
The most difficult thing to write about is relationships. They can be the most complicated thing in the world. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 years, minus a 10 month period of funk. While it can be the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me, during moments of pain it is the worst. Relationships are complicated and they take time. It is not all rainbows and smiles as romantic comedies make it seem (though sometimes we all wish real men were like the movies). The reality is that they are hard. The difficult part is that one has to devote to another person entirely by placing full trust in them. When that trust is broken or affected is when you have problems. The best relationships are the ones that went through hell and back because they worked it out. Troubles only make you stronger.Coming from a couple that has been together through high school, through a year of long distance (600 miles apart), dealt with being counteracted by others, and has still managed to stay together, I constantly get asked questions on how we made it this far.
Needless to say, here is my advice on how to make it work.
- Love yourself. This is the number one step to finding love. If you don't love yourself how can someone else love you?
- Be yourself. This is something that constantly said, but seldom followed. If you can't do this, then they might not be Mr. or Mrs. Right. Your partner needs to fall in love with who you REALLY are.
- Be honest. It really is the best policy. No relationship based on lies and dishonesty can last. Without trust there is no relationship, that simple.
- Go the extra mile. You fall in love because your partner loves you too, but you stay in the relationship because they constantly show you that love. You may concentrate on finding the right person, but when you do you must focus on keeping them.
- Be thoughtful. Always think of ways to make the other person happy. When both partners are thoughtful they remain happy longer. Mr. Right should bring you flowers and always come to your door. You should make him cute gifts and say corny things.
- Put them before you. When you are number one in someones life and they are number one in yours too, nothing can break you apart. Obviously this is more figurative than literal, remember to give yourself priority, you matter the most as does your happiness. Just don't take your partner for granted.
- Know what you deserve. If you are not getting any of these things, know that you deserve more. If that is the case, you should leave them or ask for it firmly. Be very assertive and honest.
- Do not give up. When you do hit a rough patch don't give up on your relationship, try to make it work. Forgiveness is key, but it can be very difficult. You are the one who decides if it is worth it or not.
Cynthia Edith Gurrola